I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
