I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
