So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
