Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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