Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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