If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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