did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
