You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
