So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
