He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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