I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
