A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
