Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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