Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
