Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
