actually, I'm a sock model
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
