I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
