She said her name was "party"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
