You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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