At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
