When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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