you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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