I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're a waste of cheezeits
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
