It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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