Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
