oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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