Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
