my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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