just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
