What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i've created a new STD.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
