My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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