He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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