i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
