"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
