Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize