It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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