she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
