I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
