Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
