One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
