you win again, gameday.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
