just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
