I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am one with the molecules
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
