This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
