i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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