Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
