I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's like God shit irony all over that family
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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