what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
