Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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