Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
