with your own penis?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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