wanna go halves on a baby?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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