There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
