i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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