He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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