so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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