I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
MIDGETS
????
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
