This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
