i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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